I was sitting with my darling and watching Family Guy last night. On this particular episode, the main characters get (Yes, Econ professor, I like MLA) into trouble, crazy hi-jinx ensue, things happen, and eventually, the family finds resolve and things return to normal. Fans right now are trying to figure out which of the hundreds of episodes I could possibly be talking about, but that’s beside the point.
I realized how many volumes it speaks about me that the high point of my day and article-inspiring material came from watching a show. So I decided to be more exciting.
And what do exciting, confident, slightly arrogant people do? They coin their own terms. I skipped the Tyra brand of crazy (Like “smize”) and went with something more practical: GNDETIRRTAWLS.
GNDETIRRTAWLS means Getting Nothing Done (Even Though I Really, Really Tried A Whole Lot) Syndrome. Every planner, organizer, and office-supply fetishist should appreciate this term without explanation.
We’ve all had (or been) that one person in the office who is always re-copying birthdays and holidays into their new planner. “Another trip to Wal-Mart, huh?” is the only way to begin small-talk with this person, who, in their efforts to remember and structure everything, has managed to forget what even his own name is.
The syndrome even has a DSM-style diagnosis:
- (The patient) has tried all the popular productivity systems (namely, Getting Things Done and 43 Folders); and/or
- Owns no fewer than 20 between the following: planners (and planning applications), calendars (and calendar applications), to-do lists (and applications), time-tracking means, and inboxes; and/or
- Has read Eat That Frog et al. more than twice each; AND
- Still gets nothing done.
For example, that person in your office who is always transferring static dates between calendars suffers from this syndrome due to the sheer lack of productivity caught from owning too many systems and never sticking with one long enough to benefit.
If another person is wise and keeps things in some format which allows for quick and easy transfer, she still probably never gets anything done… she just blows things off more efficiently, with all time spent in learning the system itself.
Tell your friends. Royalty pending.
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